Goal: The essence of succeeding or failing

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How many of you have seen a race where the runners don't know where is the end, in which direction is the end? How many of you would be interested in participating in a race like that? I don't know you, but I think that me and you might agree that doesn't make sense to embark in a journey if you don't know where you are going. It doesn't make any sense start in a career that you don't know exactly what you expect from that career, what you want to achieve.
I often talk about my current career, but I have to admit I wasn't really feeling energized about this no more, I wasn't feeling so eager to do it no more until someone shed some light, injected some fuel in me. I have been in business for over two years now and it been a roller coaster of emotions. I often questioned how some of my colleagues stay excited after being in business 20-30 years. Some weeks ago someone who's been in business for 15 years building a successful business the right way started to talk about what motivate him to be in business. And just last week the same guy came back to his old topic talking of what motivate him, his goals and dreams. "you have to start questioning why are you here" mmm that was a very good question.
You see, when I first started in business I just wanted one thing in special and that was retire my father. He's currently 55 years old and haven't stop working since he was 10, travel, and provide a good life for my family. Sound pretty descent to me but that's not going to fire me up. WHY? I don't have a clear goal. Sure I knew what I wanted, sure I knew what I wanted to do, but the mileage of my race wasn't determined. I didn't know how much I wanted, I hadn't specified a distance for my goal and so I hadn't specified what price to pay.
I have the best opportunity in the world for a regular man like me in North America and I would find myself coming from my job and straight to play video games, watch tv, take whole days off lagging in front of the computer doing nothing, just seeing others living their dream. What about mine? You know what happened? I didn't have a goal an exact goal. My goal was: helping my father to retire but this is not a viable goal due to the fact that if I get far, I get to help my parents anyway. It happens that if my father get me upset at least for that day I'm out from chasing my goal, I wanted to travel, well with so many stuff going on around the world.. I refuse to watch news but there are some news that you just can't ignore and looking at how things are I don't think I might be that eager to travel, then is the fact that I want to provide the best to my family. At the time I'm writing this blog I'm not married not kids, and have a girlfriend well at least I have that. but is just the same as my father. If my girlfriend get me upset I'm out of the chase too.
I made sure to set up a goal that keep me ignited I put on paper how much in total I want to make two years and a half from now. You see, I'm not longer placing my goals in someone else's hands. You might agree with me that the momentum of my goals was handled by my father, girlfriend and the news. Worse, they didn't know about it. Placing an specific goal on paper would remind me to just do it, it doesn't matter how angry I get with my father, my girlfriend . I think it would help me get there faster. Family time, oh I'm mad at them ok family time is work time now.. I'm just joking I really love my family. Putting down in paper my goals would remind me to just got after it independently of what happens with my girlfriend, parents, or the world. I only know I have certain amount of time to make certain amount of money. What would happen (please God don't let that happen) if my father died? I'm pretty sure that in the past my goals would have died too. In the present my goals continue only with the sadness that my father didn't see me succeeding. Also is important to have someone to be accountable to could be a son/daughter, your wife/husband, boyfriend/girlfriend a good friend, and or co-worker. For the following reason if you are the only one who know of your goal is very likely that you get out of the chase for your goals "if nobody know, there's no sin. Instead of working my business, let me watch some tv, I deserve some rest" It happens that you really enjoyed and the next day you are in the same. When you come to realize you are lost in laziness. Having someone to be accountable to achieve 3 things
1) Create a sense of consciousness, a sense of urgency "Oh John is looking at me to see if I'm serious of my goals I better set out to work"
2) Activate John to call you out when you are getting out of your objective
3) Someone to follow your progress and someone who know what you are talking about
"Well Victor this is another good post for those who have business" NO what I'm stating here is that whatever goal you want.
1) Find out what you want to achieve. has to be clear, something you really want, not something that sound beautiful.
2) Specify a date for when you want to achieve that goal
3) Write them down in a piece of paper that you are going to carry with you everywhere everyday, place it around keep it visible get obsessed with your goal. If your goal is a car, get a picture of that car, or a similar model and keep it visible.
4) Determine the price to pay for your goal and very important Do not negotiate the price. Remember the
5) Determine who can help you to stay in focus, and help you to get there. I have the fortune and misfortune to have John Mcmullen, Charles Lutz and my girlfriend in my business. They contact me almost daily to see my progress. It's a misfortune but good misfortune because there are days that I promise to do something, I don't do it and then I try to hide. Hey I'm afraid of giving the message that I'm not serious or that I failed.
6) Find out if you need to develop any specific skills to achieve that goal.
 7) Develop a plan of action
8) Celebrate
Let say that you want a better relationship. I believe that the logic is write down that goal and put it in a place that only you know of, put a SPECIFIC date and I hope the date is not "as soon as possible (ASAP)" Honestly that's undefined. Analise the situation well and put a date according to the gravity of the situation, after that you must find out the price you have to pay. "well we are in this mess because I spend too much time  watching sports on TV, instead of paying attention to her, never tell her how good she cooked. I will cut down the TV time, maybe get home earlier so I have my tv time and don't miss my favorite show and my favorite woman, maybe call her more when I'm out." "Well maybe I learn new recipes and don't bore him with the same food." maybe I cut down my phone time with my friend and so we can talk more and leave the tv for me as he does after I hang up the phone." Sure you know what to sacrifice to fix the problem. Maybe you spend far too much time on the computer. If you spend it reading this blog double thumbs up :D invite your spouse and send to friends :D Now seriously, talk to someone maybe a good friend, someone that have that relationship you dream of, if you don't have a friend with those characteristics find someone who do, talk to that person about their relationship, what you see good, what you want in your relationship. NEVER SPEAK IN TERMS OF WHAT YOU DON'T WANT just focus on what you want. It would become natural for John to ask how is your relationship going because John is working with you to fix it. You have chosen John to guide you, John is an example of what you want. John will give you advices and maybe help you to develop a plan to achieve your goal. You just need to ask. Lastly you have to celebrate, after achieving your goal invite John and spouse to eat with your spouse, dance, sing, go crazy you made it, is your time. You know what time is it? time to identify another goal and go after it.
Anything you want to achieve doesn't necessarily have to do with business, but in every aspects of life you have to see look at what do you want to accomplish, when and what are you willing to pay. Maybe is that one week vacation to Florida next summer. Hey have you noticed you work everyday, pay $100 something for your cable and you only watch one channel? How about giving up the cable and get that money together and have your well deserved vacations.
You have to know with clarity what you want, you have to know when you want it, what are you willing to give up to get that goal, who would you need to help you out to reach that goal if relationship wise who do you think have a great relationship and might give you good advice, who is successful and might give you good advice. And finally don't forget to write it down. Be serious of your goal remember a deal is not a deal unless you sign the papers.
BUT the greatest problem with humanity is that we are willing to get but we are not willing to pay the price for what we want, we are not willing to sacrifice. One very important thing you have to remember is that if you do what the crowd do, you would end up with the crowd, if you do what others are not willing to do, you will get what others don't get.

See you all in two weeks
Very important here are some other supporting links for this article, hope you enjoyed and pass it to your friends if you liked what you read, any other articles you see here and you liked, pass them around as well. Leave your comments and suggestions below. You can now comment in anonymous, I prefer reading who said what though.
It is time to set your goals it's never too late doesn't matter you are 78,108,120 years old. You still have a lot ot give to the world for some reason you still here. I hope is because you are celebrating your goals accomplished. We see you on the top the bottom is too crowded.
Wikipedia on goal setting
Mindtools on Personal goal setting
Top achievement with the steps to goal setting
Millionaire Secrets: With the picture and steps to achieving your goal

Urgency: When life catch you by surprise

Damages caused to a passing car on Woodhaven blvd during the September 17 Tornado in NY

I see people living life with no sense of urgency. I can count myself among them I'm not perfect, we are not perfect we all make mistakes. I have been involved in an awesome opportunity for over two years where I could become my own boss, I could lead others to be even better than me, I could go and help a bunch of people but you know what? I haven't, you sitting there reading this might ask yourself why? why this guy hasn't done that when sounds he is in an awesome position I wish I had his opportunity. Now I'm gonna ask you, why? why haven't you done better? why if in your field you can go out and help a thousand people you only help 500? why you do everything half-way? The reason is lack of urgency,the reason is comfortableness, maybe you are afraid of going big time. Maybe you are comfortable being a bench player and you don't want to go to play starter, you are obviously better than the starting player but you don't want to do the extra work that would make you a starter.
Ironically on the same moment the tornado struck my neighborhood I was reading a phrase from the book "live your dreams" from Les Brown where he says something about living your life and not let your life live you. Like he would say WOw Wow that was a direct shot to those who live without urgency like if life is not nearing an end everyday. In the moment the tornado struck that was a surprise to all of us, we were not expecting that. Well, one day your life could get repossessed with no warning. Then you will feel the sense of urgency, then the self talk start to come to your head "I wish I had more time will come to your head" Then the news come in of people's cars being struck by trees, people caught inside cars. I sat down to think of my unfulfilled dreams, that could have been me the guy of the white car menaced by death and with my dreams unfulfilled, that could be me, just bough a car with the little money I had and just took it out for a first ride and I lost it.
See, the more I let things happen to me I could go two ways I could get weak and just don't fight for my dreams no more, the more I get that phrase in me "Hey this is supposed to happen to me" "this is not for me" "I don't have skills" Or I can go the other way I could get fired up, I could get so immune to hits that I don't feel them I just go for what I want, I can get sick and tired of being sick and tired and get better at my craft, search opportunities and make things happen for me, make things run in your favor. See, that is actually the most likely way to go because the more you complaint to yourself the weaker you get the more you don't want to wake up and get things going. The more you become part of the bottom 95% that doesn't have any kind of business and work for the top 5% is not that bad, how about becoming part of the bottom 5%? Have you seen the beggars? Homeless? they gave up long time ago despite having so much to give. You think you are poor? look around you look at your abundance smile you are not the low 5% you have four walls to house you, access to the internet (somehow) thank heavens you can read me hahahaha. Compared to the low 5% aren't you in better position? Les Brown said (I love that guy) "If I can look up, I can get up" SO GET UP!!!!

After the tornado. A broken tree in a neighborhood of Brooklyn. Photo Jennifer Mendez

You keep complaining about defeats, you keep holding back because of fear of being defeated afraid that things can come wrong again. Ray S S a drama student at Queens College and friend of the family me and him were talking I was telling him that I admire anybody standing up to act in front of people because I get nervous talking in public. He explained to me how he does it, plus I added that (it just came off) what can go wrong will go wrong specially when you call for it, and when you focus only on that not to come wrong will go wrong. I was surprised with my own discovery. Now you will ask me what the tree has to do with that you? I will answer why are you asking when you are supposed to read and absorb what is positive? I'm just joking with you. Ok let me tell you. This picture was taken the day after the tornado. Notice the broken tree, and the blue sky. Just before the tornado that same day we had blue skies no wind and temperatures hitting the low to mid 80's two similar days and you could tell a tragic moment in between. This tree was you can tell happily enjoying like everyday, the next day, the day continue without the tree. This is when you come into play. Your family and friends enjoy having you around, you actually might stop your life for them, you don't go after goals putting your family as an excuse. In this process you leave your life un-lived. Just like the day went on without the tree, your family and friend's life would go on without you, they will adapt to live without you. With or without you the show will go on.
See is up to you if you will run your show, is up to you to live your life and leave your mark in life, is up to you to make things happen. You was given a life, but you should not tie yourself up with unnecessary excuses. Everybody has responsibilities to take care of, you have yours, you have your dreams, you have goals (I hope otherwise there's not destination to arrive to) is up to you if you are going to run in the marathon, is up to you if you would be the winner, the one who at least completed the marathon, or worse the one who gave up just about to finish but didn't know the goal was two blocks away, the one giving up half-way or the one who didn't even start the marathon. Stood there thinking "26 miles would I complete the 26 miles" not knowing that had the abilities to beat the world record.
Now let me ask you something which one of all these was the biggest loser? I would pick the one who gave up just about to finish the race. It doesn't matter where it finished as long as you finish what you start. YES everybody started ahead of you, but you don't know the outcome yet. I remember when I was learning English back in level one. I was read a story about a tortoise running with a rabbit. If you don't know the story yet you would quickly bet all your money on the rabbit is a wise bet (apparently) well the tortoise would be almost sure she would lose but still entered the race. The rabbit relaxed too much, took it easy, slept and when he decided to wake up and run the tortoise was crossing the goal line. You don't know if in those two blocks the racers decided to take a beer, rest or something just go and finish strong. It doesn't matter how you start but how you finish. After you put so much work into it you quit, that's so brilliant my friend. So if you was Thomas A. Edison you would stay bankrupt. Edison paid his dues he lost his fortune in inventions that failed, YET he's regarded one of the greatest inventors EVER, he gained his fortune and more. In a business meeting the night of the tornado I went to my meeting. I will speak about that next paragraph. I heard that Donald Thrump was so deep in debt that he once passed by a homeless man asking for money in the street and he told a friend "man I'm so in debt that this guy we just passed has more money than me." However he continued to pursue his dreams and today Donald Thrump is the world's biggest name in real estates.
Oh wait, there was another racer that didn't even compete. I change my opinion, that's the biggest loser, the so skilled racer that could have won have to see other taking what could be his/her trophy without even giving a fight only if he/she would have stop thinking and start competing. We are often faced with this situation. People who could do great things in life, have the skills to do great things just that they don't know they possess such skills and don't even start. I just read my Facebook a friend from Puerto Rico Magaly L ask God to give her the power (something like that I don't have Facebook open right now) to continue to discover the tools he gave her to build the bridge to the road he traced for her. She has an idea where she's going. she tell God "I'm not afraid, I want to accomplish my goals help me to continue to discover my skills because I want to live my dreams" That should be your attitude people have the skills but don't even start to discover them and so they don't even start this marathon called life, instead they stay do mediocre in other fields, then they see people with no skills doing great in the field they passed on. According to Mr. Les Brown accounts on "Live Your Dreams" Whoever saw Les growing up nobody would believe that young man would become the public speaking sensation he is right now. He next to John C Maxwell, Sig Ziglar, and some speakers from my field are among my favorite. Others even study the field at the end of the day they go for a totally different field. How about college? some students I could myself in spend two years or more looking for a field to study. Well I went in for computers. I'm the guy who can piece a computer together, can in most cases diagnose a problem. But I have a problem, I'm not that strong in Math. I still went for computer sciences, I failed two semesters, the next semester I started to think. My entire childhood I would play tv and radio show with my brothers, I would present them to ourselves, and they would sing, I remember playing news with the news from the neighborhood who fought with who, who visited the house. I went for communications. I remember when I was between fifth and eight grade I met my first followers, they were very smart kids a few of them were older than me, very smart but lacking technique and focus. Next to them were two cousins Josefina who was just a year older and Juana E same age as me. The rest well they were at least 4 years older. They knew me, but they never took classes with me until I reached them couple of grades up. They saw me in action in the classroom and decided this is gonna be my leader. They would come to me for advices, I showed them how I study, we went through all the other grades un-breakable. Josefina was very smart I had my rival for the highest grades in my own group but was a family friendly rivalry. That's the first time I ever felt like a leader and they re-elected my group and me as the leader in the following grades. Why me? Wasn't Josefina considered? yes she was but they knew I would pick her as my right hand so there was no loss.
I'm currently doing something with communications but with a vast array of leadership, great opportunity given to me. People find excuses to don't do their things, people find excuses for their failures. On the night of Thursday September 17, 2010 with traffic slow like 5 miles per hour, 2 train routes out, more rain in the way. I tweeted something like "despite the rain I'm here, I want this bad and I better don't find excuses" I went out for my training not knowing if the training got canceled, not knowing if the place got affected, in fact some people lost power I didn't know if the place got affected. But I showed up, Why? because in critical moments this is when true leaders show up. I just got the book "21 irrefutable laws of leadership" from John C. Maxwell I haven't read it yet. But I believe that in order to become a leader, you should convince yourself you are one, act like one even if you have no idea what's leadership people will follow and when people follow you, you are a leader.
I'm running a marathon to succeed, I mentioned a marathon before. In the category of losing, but still a winner since you finish what you start. I can count myself in this category. The very skilled racer who didn't run hard enough, finished the race without getting too tired, took the place #246 when people forgot there was a marathon my apologies and admiration to those who run the actual marathon taking those places. Hey at least you finish what you start give yourself a hand. I'm not talking to you I'm talking to the skilled super fast who could be at least top 100 the one who didn't run hard enough when this person had the skills to beat the world record. Didn't have the urgency to run. This is also painful seeing someone else perhaps with the same or lower skill getting crowned the winner, specially when you know in your heart you didn't run at 100% perhaps you could give that person a good fight for the closing of the marathon and still win or get second maybe fourth sill better than 246. I invite you guys to use up your skills and race hard for the end, go and take all the first places, go and be somebody, show that you can. I invite you to use up your life because life reposessor don't give warnings, and when that happen, you better be prepared, you better has something to show that your life wasn't given to you in vain. If you are 125 years old that go to you too. YOU STILL HERE FOR A REASON, so don't let yourself go without leaving your idea of a better world. Les Brown also say in "Live Your Dream" (which I still reading) find this around page 100 he recall a minister telling him that the graveyard not a diamond mine is the largest treasure in the world, there you will find inventions that never happened, books that never got written. Don't let that happen to your dreams.

Gift

Yesterday I'm in the train with my girlfriend, I see so many stuff going on, but one that called my attention was this very outspoken mute man, yes as you heard an outspoken mute man. Immediately I started to think and to question myself: Do we come with the wrong gift? Or do we think we are better that the other one?
I was riding the train with my girlfriend, she decided to give up her seat to the female companion of this guy. I stood up to give him the seat but he rejected it, I offered it to my girlfriend and she rejected it too (not sure what was happening with my seat that I was giving it away and got rejected twice) but this guy made an effort to thank us, I quickly found out he can understand us but can't talk. In sign language through his female companion, and directly talking to my girlfriend (she understands a little of sign language) we were having a great conversation, we even laughed like crazy for the next 6 stops (18 minutes).
The funny thing is I come across by so many people you can consider normal they can talk back to you, they can hold a conversation with you. YET nobody do that you say good morning and you get looked at as abnormal like if you have a mental illness. I had a good time participating in a conversation with someone who wasn't given the gift of talking, yet the desire to communicate.
We felt so impacted by this, even my girlfriend said in joke Vic you are a great guy if I wasn't dating you, that's the kind of person I would be with... Ok that was too much information but I understood what she meant. Someone actually decided to give part of his time to share with us, someone actually had the education to not only thank us but talk to us.
I said sometime ago on my Facebook page "how come God denied teeth to the ones who have what to chew, the ones who want to chew, and give teeth to those who have what to chew but are to lazy to chew" and is related to the fact that many people see possibility, many people like my friend Jay A. want to do something great with his life, but are somewhat limited can't do nothing but want badly do something big. In the other hand there are people with no so much limits they can do it all, are picky, don't see themselves doing something great with their life, lack ambition... Well that's another blog entry.
What is true though is the fact that sometimes we misuse or don't use our gifts enough. Life is a gift everything you have is a gift, go and use it. That guy I spoke about earlier wasn't given a voice, but a great personality and the desire to communicate with others, the desire to say hey I'm alive and I will impact your life TODAY, I came and I don't give a ^&*$# I can't talk like you, hey this is all I've got to communicate with you.
I'm leaving with this: Doesn't matter the difficulties you face, you still in position to do something great, something that perhaps you don't see yourself doing. In the end, we didn't come to this world to waste our life, we all have a mission or purpose, is up to you to find it and exploit it, to benefit you and others.

Limitations to other's vision

"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world." 
Arthur Schopenhauer
Image courtesy of Cuenta Cuentos.ning
I remember posting on my facebook page this quote that was May this year. I immediately received many comments from my friends and some messages asking me about this quote what do I think it means. It sounds mean, omg this is a so depressing quote etc.
I'm gonna tell you something, I don't know that in deep what it means neither. But everybody have their own version on this quote. Originally published in the studies on pessimism. To be honest I haven't read that probably would take a look at it sometime even though I want nothing to do with pessimism. 
Sometimes we do stuff and usually compare to what others have done. It's very normal to see a very successful lawyer and his/her children become lawyers, it comes to a generation that they just do it. They don't have passion for that but is all they know because dad did it, grandpa did it. Also is very normal seeing farmers staying farmers, rich grow even more rich the poor gets more poor. WHY? well the rich found a secret that they can transfer to their children lucky them. With the time they apply their improve over what they had and you know that's more money. 
The poor on the other hand would stay there, hey dad worked everyday in the factory and raised me at least he raised me, yes I want to go to Disney, Hawaii but that's just fantasy I know my feet would not go to those places there's no way I can get there with the money I get but this is all I can do what do you want me to do, steal?
And that's the problem I see, well now I see it. I recently had the opportunity to listen to Earl's Nightingale's The strangest secret where he defines success as the constant realization of an ideal meaning hey if you are doing what you are doing and you are happy, then you are successful. Ok if that's you this might not be your posting, I'm talking to those that are not happy where they are at. Why you do what you do? why aren't you trying something different?
In the USA we live in a free market economy, you have a skill? then you can make a business out of it, you have an idea, you can make money with it. You are the best in your class best barber, best cook, best hair stylist in town then you can definitely have a lot of clients coming to you looking for your services. The question is why aren't you moving to the next level? Guys right now I'm silent, my brain is talking through my hands, and I'm gonna tell you. I want to move to the next level. Currently I'm full-time entrepreneur starting in my own business supported by a company. I want to move forward and be one of the top in my class. What is stopping you? what is stopping me?
I was born to a lower middle class couple coming from a town where we had no electricity until 1990, roads made out of dirt where you would be happy when rain come so it would wash away the dust out of your house and vehicles wont lift dust for days. But then would curse for so much mud being dragged on your shoes. My grandfather didn't make it past 6th grade, one of them didn't even go to school, my mother finished 8th grade, my father was skipped from 6th to 8th grade but quit. He never had in mind coming to the USA, to us we were just a Dominican family who would live there like everybody else. We ended up in the United states my father came in 91 my mother seven years later my three brothers and I came in 2001. But I grew up to 16 years old in those conditions, I never in my life expected to be part of a big organization, being in position to have my own business. I see how far I've come and you know what I still afraid of taking the next step. I heard from someone in the business I'm in that you don't lose fear, but you learn to manage your fear, work around it. (Raymond Young) I gotta be honest that's blew my mind away because is true. See, doesn't matter what you do, you will always have to look for someone's advice because you have your doubts. 
Another reason why people don't go to the next level and this is where the quote comes in to my understanding. People always look for ways to excuse themselves from doing something new, often seeing the failures others had. "this guy tried that and failed" "yeah such and such son tried and he's back to farming we are people of farming not that" I admire the caution of some, but is also a flaw. See, you was made totally different from me, I don't care if you know me and know me so well that you are my brother. We were raised under the same family, but I'm totally different from you. In fact you can find on google video "maintaining a positive attitude" where Les Brown make reference to his twin Brother. TWINS and they still different Les go for all positive don't blow my positive bubble while his brother reads the paper and not leaving away the obituaries.
You were made with unique capabilities that make you different from every single individual in your environment. Yeah you will find similarities with someone but everybody is different. If certain person failed at something, hey doesn't mean you would fail. Only if that's your mindset that's where the quote comes in. If John failed, Marie failed that mean I'm gonna fail too. Well what you don't know is that John and Marie went in for money ignoring the value and their skills, well they probably became good at it with the time. But blinded by money, putting too much pressure on themselves, not doing the right thing. You don't know why they failed. And here you are wanting to do something great with your life but you don't want to because you are afraid of failure, you have fears. Because others have put limitations to you visions, you saw someone crash while trying to reach their dreams. I'm gonna leave now but I would leave you with a question.
and to answer that question I would invite you to read my previous posting in order to answer that question.


What's better trying and probably succeeding, Or never making a move and then live with the wonder of what would have been if I tried?