Saturday, February 19, 2011

Social Netwoking when too much is just too much: Setting your boundaries

A composite showing the most common networking sites.
 Hello Everybody and than you for being such an awesome audience. I have to thank my followers from the United States and Russia who this month have poured into this blog although you didn't leave me any comment telling me that you was here I'm so glad you did stop by.
I get sick at times with people posting their entire day "GM FBF time to go to work" that's not problem, the problem is next same user 20 minutes later "Grrrr this stupid bus don't show up" two hours later after updating me on the hour finally got to work "grrr I really hate my boss why doesn't she die that $#^*" Why do I need to know that? Really why do you kill yourself that way updating me on the entire day I don't need that, seriously. But you can update on your whole day that's not my business it's not but is your and you better stick to reading this and you will understand my point.
This is just in, this happened after I published my post. Someone I'm getting to know Victoria T from Ohio, she might tell me that statement up there is a little wrong. Just a week after originally publishing this post, Victoria was talking on her wall that she was in tears about something that just happened at work. I know she's reading this and some of you reading this happen maybe know her. That is something you can definitely talk about. Yes she was in tears but she was happy that's why she was in tears and to be honest I would be in tears too. If she likes maybe she share with you in the comment section or not. But it was a very happy posting. I mean if your job don't make you happy, Why talk about it? why beat yourself up about it and get others involved? Shauna from Flushing couldn't say it better. "I better don't say too much because that mean I have to explain something to somebody and the less people I have to explain the better. Once I expose it out there I have people following on that."
My facebook friends think I don't use my account to post just to reply to their comments. In reality I use my myspace, fb and twitter daily and post a quote I found and like it weekly I even post encore of a good note. You know why? It's rough out there, people are mean, the situation is mean and I just want this. When I enter to my facebook I want to be greeted by something good. When I feel down I want to see a good line motivating me to better you know. So why would I post that my best friend quit on me? why would I post that I didn't meet the goal of sales this month? Why would I update on the bad bus service? I know you might want to vent out but you better be careful where you vent out because you might vent out on yourself, you might end up destroying someone's hopes, you might end up putting down someone, and worse convincing others that it can't be just because you couldn't. Why would I post that I had an argument with my girlfriend? why would I start an argument with her on facebook or twitter? OOOH that's a huge issue.
You see, I know some people who post all day long and I'm happy with that. My friend Liza L. from Brooklyn she posts on how great she's feeling, yes she's in pain in the doctor but still happy because she has a good man and friends by her always, how wonderful day she's spending with her grand kids. Those are welcoming postings one day when Liza is feeling bad and just depressed as she's she decides to stop by her facebook she might go back and see how wonderful life she has with her family and friends, she might actually feel better after reading her facebook. Liza I'm not picking on you alone hold on lol. You have to be very careful how you portrait yourself to friends. I know somebody who was going out with a great guy, this guy is a very hardworking man, good family man, good friend, good son, good brother. Well he left the girl because he didn't like how she was dancing, he hated the fact that his family is descent but this girl didn't get along with his best friend and worse she would dance like she wanted to have sex with every guy she danced with. Island dance she said that's normal in the island to dance like that. Well one of my girlfriend best friend is also from the island and she doesn't dance like that unless she's interested in the man. Turns out that someone sent her a message asking her if she wanted to have sex with him. Well she did worse she posted it on her wall that a guy just asked her to have sex with him. I guess my friend wasn't far from reality this girl wasn't the appropriate for him. Because to be honest I would not ask a lady to have sex with me because I know I'm getting rejected, the way she portrait herself is one of these easy girls who wont reject if a man ask them. Wanna have sex with me? As a man you know that a lady wont go to bed with you instantly you have to go through a process first of getting to know the woman, maybe meet first no sex and then let go and do it. To be honest most men are not into that so if you are a woman and the first message you better take a look on how you are portraying yourself on your social site.
Another thing that is upsetting actually disturbing is the lack of supervision from parents to their children specially girls. I have been on social networking starting with Hi5 in 2004 it's a shame seeing girls I know (I can't see those profiles unless I know the person and they invite me in sometimes can actually see some of the friend's profiles) I see these girls exposing themselves in very sensual positions like "all in four" for example prompting indecent and sexually explicit comments from men at times even 25 yo men hitting on 15 yo girls. If you are a teenager and you are receiving this kind of comments, let me ask you something. Is this how you see success? Do the woman you want to become ever show this behavior, Do you see someone of value other than just sexual? Will your "prince" approve of that? will a "prince" just fall in love with you because of your pictures? If this last one is correct I bet you have a guy coming in just for sex. Will your parents approve your behavior? Again some parents are corruptive since their life is messed up already, they are selfish and wont guide their children. Will your teachers and other female friends approve your behavior?
Talking about portraying. Many people get concerned about certain activities like Alcohol and stuff like that. Let me tell you about someone else. My friend my brother Jay A. This guy you check his facebook and most of his postings are related to a soccer game he's playing soon, coming out of work and calling up his buddies to watch a soccer game and have some drinks. Yeah think whatever you want but he's another one doing it good. He's a hardworking man, very good dear friend of mine, at least he doesn't expose alcohol consumption on HIS PAGE. He's ok for the same reasons as Liza life is not easy and at any down moment he might go to facebook and see how well he spent last weekend. You can post all day long but not everything, gez someone even posted being in the bathroom with stomach issues. There's life outside of Facebook and myspace and twitter and if you are posting every hour, every 20 minutes my friend you are missing on a big chunk of life. You are basically living online you better move there. Why do I need to know that you are sitting in the bathroom and can't... Ok that hasn't happen yet but there's something  I'm sure would start happening though if some crazy phone company decide to design a waterproof phone "taking a shower with my boo" Are you serious? I mean people put some limit already. Why in heaven you have your profile private when your life is public anyways? Don't you want some privacy?
A few weeks ago I was eating with a very close friend of mine; we were having a blast. Well since some people are crazy out of the blue we decided to check facebook. To my surprise someone in her network started this big argument with her husband. You see the back and forth these two going at each other. It was ridiculous. You know, I'm not the kind who like getting into people business, she's not that kind of people neither. BUT when you put your life out that easy, you will get people looking at your stuff you will get people waiting to see how this argument develop. I know I know why you don't argue outside of facebook because you have no audience. But there's one thing I hate and is getting my food cold because some knucklehead decided to argue on facebook. What happened to the old times when people would call or text each other and yell what you want them to die from, curse that person all the way to great grand children? Come on people get a phone if you don't have one. Do all this show "I'm gonna leave you #$#" and go play pools together next weekend and take pictures and post on facebook, then not only that go back together. If this happened in secret nobody knew I'm telling you that nobody would think bad about you. But imagine after that whole show you go back together. "look at these two why so much show man..." To be honest I am a happy man with Jenn but doesn't mean that we don't have our issues. We argue... but nobody know nobody needs to know all that and we both care to keep it to ourselves because we know you have your issues too and adding our is not a good idea. Plus once you put your issues out, you are calling for suggestions and unfortunately every suggestion is going to be different. I remember going through this big argument with Jenn. Two friends of my father learned of the issue actually four Advice from a Female "Jenn is a great woman you seem you lost her now. There are more people ahead." next female "Noooo don't hear her, call her take her some flowers and take her to eat and you will see how she will agree with everything you said" (I agreed with this one but didn't need it she called me and we fixed it over the phone. Now Jenn don't argue with me because I wont do this to fix it lol) Guy "No papa don't budge down don't call her in days and you will see she will call you asking you why you haven't call her which means she miss you" guy two "If broken is broken" Notice I didn't put it out there but my attitude in the house was enough to drive me crazy in a minute and get different opinions right away. It drove me crazy to tell the truth.
My facebook is a place of relaxation for me. I don't post my personal problems because nobody will solve them for me and I have nothing to explain to nobody other than my business, what I do for living. So I keep anything negative out of there, I find a good quote that inspired me something I post it. It's rough out there so when things go rough I feel like having a moment for me I go to my phone check my friends' updates I have a great network I hardly see anything negative there from my friends they are very outgoing people and very positive. Even if I stay small (currently 180 something friends) I prefer having good people with me. My facebook has to inspire me in tough moments is pretty much a book of quotes I take with me everywhere. What's the point of being a victim? wait that could be another blog entry in the future. Like Liza, Jay, Victoria they refuse to show up as a victim, they rather inspire some kind of hope on someone, bring a smile on someone's face. In the case of Twitter I had to remove everybody I had. That's another site where people just post garbage calling women by the b-word women trash talking. I don't need that drama. So far I'm following guys like my two business managers, Les Brown, Tony Robbins, John C Maxwell, one of the big leaders in my business and that's all. I don't need negative people with me. I want to grow I want to be somebody, do something special with my life and drama queens and kings wont get me there. Posting my private life out wont get me there, and reading people's private life will just entertain me from what I'm trying to accomplish. If want all I explained (success, be someone special, do something special) and you happen to have drama people around cut them off even if is your childhood friend. I let go 12 contacts from my facebook last week because these were dead ended people I don't need those. I'm dead serious. People like that only bring distractions.

Thanks for reading and I speak to you in a pair of weeks.


  1. I agree with you. People really should set limitations to what they will say and do on social networking sites. I definitely hate signing on to drama or the sadness posse who only go online and cry and complain.

  2. Thank you Choycelyte for reading I really appreciate you stopping by and hearing you out. I agree, who want to sign up to problems? Any volunteers? I don't want nobody to get the wrong impression of me I'm a regular guy like you (reading) just that I have a lot to say that's all. I have my issues but why would I want to drain everybody's mood with my stuff. Everybody have that special friend to go to, what you do when you post your stuff up there is put people to make fun of you. Sure I would post some funny stuff but posting your dramas is not funny in fact is too distracting keep that offline with your best buddy who always help you out with your dramas. I hope to see more reads on this one, I hope you keep passing this to your friends if you think is interesting enough. This one is by far the one posting I really want everybody to read specially those annoying people.
    Choycelyte you know what I do? I DELETE anybody bringing me issues to my facebook, and I think I will start attaching this link. Well I tend to write a good bye note when deleting somebody. I probably start attaching this link to my good bye notes lol